which mode of writing to adopt today ?
formal for national or chatty for local ?
i consider this to be a blog that will be read at a personal level from one's lap with a coffee, or at a desk with a cup of earl grey tea, so either way it's local ... hence a chatty style today.
i've been using some of the sounds from the residency for an experimental film i've been makng since january. the group session last week was a handy way to show the film and get some feedback about it. from that session i learnt stuff and made a new edit of the film for a peer to peer session at the weekend. i'm taking it with me tomorrow to show to robert and loz, if he's in.
one thing i am having to reflect upon is the research that i've been doing has somewhat led me into a dead end. i see that i need to edit what i've made and bring it back to something like the very first response that frankly was alittle more interesting than i have now. one problem with working with digital media is that it is easy to become involved in the programmng side of the work and lose sight of what emotionally was being sort after. i need to edit the research too.
wednesday this week is postgraduate open evening at ntu. i'm going along to find out about a couple of courses, i'm not sure that i know why i'm considering further education, especially as i live with possibility that i'm unteachable. this was once said of me and in my daily awkwardness with everyday life i do wonder if they are onto something.
i have started making awkward drawings. i'm keeping a jounrnal with them in, my little book of awkward drawings. my awkwardness is derived from feeling in a place that i should not be, as usually i don;t speak the right language or agree with everything around me. i'm happy for everything around me to be the way it is, i sometimes become overwhelmed by others who insist on the world being as they have it for them. i don;t know if you read this as a moan, it's not meant to be read as a moan, more a vry for help. i know that the help i call for is outside or the remit of this scheme, i just happen to be here when i feel the way i do.
part of releasing the feeling is attempting to write about it here.
and in so doing a weight is moved.
my sonics research began as the snee snaw was put on the shelf for another time. using the performance tool used for the snee snaw i wanted to research using the motion of a swing and sounds made in real time, as opposed to pre-recorded sounds. i've extended my knowledge of the performance tool, now it's time to refocus on the original intention and consider how to represent the time spent on the residency by some outcome. i have access to a swing and some participants over the easter holiday, so there is a plan. we began at ntu quite late, so my time there will run until sometime in may.
this reflective thing is tough as i very rapidly get very hard on myself. i don;t yet know how to be reflective and not be so.
i feel a little happier for my local chat, thank you for taking the time to read it. time to help cook tea.
