i'm working with the pieces of video gathered and made that might stand as an outcome for this residency and it occurs to me that for a while i might have been allowing the outcome to be some point about there being no harm in having a failure and leaving it at that.
however there's personal pride at stake here. the question to self then becomes why didn't you do anything to turn it around? it maybe doesn't matter that something didn't go to plan or expected. it might matter however not to do anything about that. if i do nothing, there will always be that niggle of why didn't i do something to fix it.
comes to the pont of whom am i fixing it for. there's no marketed audience expecting to experience it, there's no funders waiting on an outcome, there's no assesment waiting for a hand in. all there is is where i began. what did i set out to do.
for the new work i want to use sounds generated in real time, in direct response to the movement of the play equipment.
this is what i stated. i chose to do this using a workstation allowing manipulation of formal musical sounds. i've attempted to make this work for some time now. i think i might just have to concede that manipulation of formal musical sounds does not give me the excitement and fun that i got when the snee snaw moved. i began doing something in reponse to a technical question, could i do it? answer now is yes, however i find it quite boring. technically prophiciant but boring.
so where does that leave me?
having to admit that i have acheived a piece of research that proves a point.
having achieved a piece of research that underpins something i'm yet to do.
learning that sometimes what i set out to do can have a poor result, and that's actually ok. it's ok to fail sometimes, and you know what, it's been a long time since i've been in a position to be able to do that.
i'm enjoying working out some of this here, being able to share it, leave it as a legacy of where i've been and what i've done.